Raising boys and dogs

I'm back...................................

2008-03-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I notice that it's been almost a year since I've posted to this blog. What can I say? The boys and dogs have been keeping me quite busy........................
We had an unexpected litter of pups in October. Chester, our male stud, played escape artist by jumping through a garage window and into our open bedroom window while we were out one afternoon - hence 2 little beagle girls were conceived. They were lovely little things, although we were quite surprised that only 3 pups were conceived(one little boy was stillborn :( ). Apparently since they were conceived so early on in Tango's cycle there just weren't enough eggs to fertilize at the time. Anyways....................taking care of the 2 little ones was a breeze after the litter of 7, and we ended up finding lovely homes for them both. I love you Lily and Snoopy!
As far as the boys go, well........................................let's just say that as we near the age of 17, there are more and more challenges to meet. Last weekend I found myself with 3 teenage couples here for the day, and had a hard time determining what is and what is not appropriate for kids of this age - how much privacy should they be allowed? Should they be trusted until trust is broken, or can a group of 16 year olds be trusted in the dark while watching a movie? These are few among many questions that I ask myself on a regular basis. Fortunately my relationship with my son is good, and I'm pretty sure of where he's at and where he wants to go. I must say that the "serious relationship" at 16 stresses me out though. I can't say that I don't understand on a personal level.........................I myself went through the same kind of intense relationship at 16 that he's experiencing - unfortunately this doesn't make it easier. I only hope and pray that by the time we get to the fourth child's teenage years, we have it somewhat figured out.

Just when you think.....................................

2007-06-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well, the pups turned out beautifully! Although I became stressed, as per usual, that I wouldn't find good homes for all of them, it wasn't an issue I should have lost sleep over. By the time they were 6 weeks old I'd found them all lovely homes, until..........................................at 7 weeks my youngest son had an accident involving one of them. Hunter(8) was helping me move puppies from their inside pen to their outside pen for the day, when his foot caught a cinderblock that I was using to prop up a board to keep the pups from escaping their kennel, and he pulled it over on one of the pups legs. YIKES! Needless to say, puppy was injured. An emergency trip to the vet told us that he had a broken leg and would have to be kept crated for 3 weeks until the leg healed. This meant we would be keeping him 2 weeks beyond when al of the other pups were to leave for their new homes. Well, after explaining the situation to the pups new owner and thankfully finding out that he still wanted the pup, we got through the 3 weeks, fell in love with Diego(the name the new owner had chosen for the pup), got our 2nd xray which was to show us he was healed and ready to go, only to find that the leg still wasn't healed and we needed to keep him for 2 more weeks. YIKES again.
Well, we're pretty much falling in love with little Diego. He has become part of the family. We've had him so long now that we'll really miss him when he's gone.
Raising pups is not for the feint of heart. If you aren't doing it for the love of puppies, beware - things don't always go as planned.

The puppies are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, the pups are actually 10 days old already.............................
They are all doing wonderfully, and this was the least eventful delivery of all, other than the fact that I lost 2 nights sleep waiting for the little darlings to get here. Tango was visibly on her way to delivering these pups for 2 days before the birth actually occured, and therefore I couldn't relax until their safe arrival. She began delivery at 5:30 last tuesday morning, and the last of the pups was whelped at around 8:ooam. The last little guy was an unexpected surprise. We had had xrays taken which said we would have 6 pups, and ended up with a whopping 7!
Mom and pups are doing great. 3 of them now have their eyes open, and we've had no health issues with any of them. Can't wait until they get their little personalities!
Congratulations Tango!

Waiting is the Hardest Part

2007-02-19T07:14:00.000-08:00

Life with a 15 year old is certainly all it's cracked up to be. They say that by the time a child reaches age 12-13 you've done all of the teaching that you can do, and after that it's just a matter of "guidance". Well, this is a scary truth, and living it out is full of dilemmas. At 15 my eldest has lost all motivation for doing well at school. He is an all around good kid - not a trouble maker in the least - he is kind, helpful, courteous, and quite fun to be around......................he's just lost all motivation for completing schoolwork. How does a mom deal with this? I'm not so sure.............................
Gone are the days when I could put him in his room, spank him, take away his favorite toy, give him a stern talking to, etc. He is a young man who must find a way for himself, and in order to be motivated, he needs to decide for himselft that school is worthwhile - no amount of punishment will "make" him motivated.
They say that "waiting is the hardest part". I concur. I see huge amounts of potential in my son. So much in fact that it pains me to see him waste his intellect - I am hurt more than I am angered. I am thankful that at the core I know that God has a plan for him, and that when all else fails, I can trust in this alone.

My puppy's turned into a monster!

2007-01-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

Time flies so quikly - we are soon ready to breed the dogs once again, and the spring should promise a new litter of puppies. I'm quite excited. It's funny how just as with you're own kids, you look forward to the babies(puppies), but once they come you are overwhelmed with the stress that they create. Once they're gone, or as in the case of kids they grow up, and then you miss having the babies, so you want to do it all over again. Kind of crazy, isn't it?
I've received many updates on the last litter of puppies - they are all doing well and are adorable.
In the case though of someone reading this blog who is looking for information on dog raising, I do have an issue that some of my puppy owners have been experiencing, and as a newly certified dog-trainer, I would like to address this issue.
I can't stress enough how important it is that you establish heirarchy early on when training your puppy . That is, make sure you don't "baby" him to the point that he becomes the boss, and ends up getting away with all kinds of things that he shouldn't. I have had an owner of one of our first litters call me with resource guarding problems which led to her dog biting one of her young son's friends. This is not tolerable. If a dog from a young age is taught that you are the boss, and that everything he has- eg) couch/bed priviledges, toys, food, treats, are only his because you give them to him, and that you have the right to take them away, he will be a much better adjusted dog, and aggression potential is greatly reduced.
I have had the opportunity to see one of my dogs recent off-spring grow up, as his owner attends the same school as my children. I can see that this dog has the potential to pose an aggressive risk in the future as well. In a breed such as a beagle, especially in the case where I know the temperements of both parents first hand, I can boldly state that the only reason this dog is showing aggression is because he hasn't been taught manners.
Unfortunately, telling a dog owner that he needs to address the problem is not so easy. It is somewhat like telling a parent that his child needs to be disciplined. The owner gets defensive, and feels insulted.
Please, anyone out there with a pup, make sure that you take the time to train your dog - it doesn't need to be a champion in the show ring, but by teaching it some basic commands and manners, you'll be much happier with your new best friend in the long run!

(puppy pictured is "Cooper", from last spring's litter)

The Brady Bunch

2006-09-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ya, I know it's been awhile......................but I guess that's what happens during summer vacation when you have a large family. Time passes like a blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr cause you're spending all of your time keeping everyone happy and occupied - and if you're lucky like me, you're also having a blast in the midst of all of the chaos.
July was the month of exercise. I chose to challenge myself with one of those "bootcamp" classes, while I kept the boys active in swimming lessons (except my eldest whose already gone as far as he can for his age and was working full-time anyways). I truly enjoy some kind of schedule, at least for part of the summer, and that's what swimming offers - a daily form of exercise, along with something to get us out of the house once a day, thus eleviating the "I'm bored" syndrome. It worked like a charm, and we all felt very fit when August arrived.
August was the month of holidays and family. A week by the lake where I had the boys on a cooking/cleaning rotation for dinners, which gave me a real break, and ten days with my step-daughter and her step-kids(who are the same age as my kids - yes, very confusing), which was the highlight of my entire summer. I agonized for months about how I was going to handle a family of 11 for 10 days, but although it was a little overwhelming in the cooking/cleaning department, it was so fulfilling emotionally, that the memories of it will stay with me for the rest of my life.
My boys had never really met these kids, and therefore I wasn't sure how personalities would mesh. There was alot of potential for disaster, as typically when you put a bunch of kids together for an extended period of time, they tend to get sick of each other and hence, fighting occurs. There was none of that! The kids acted like they were long lost cousins, and developed such a bond with each other that my step-daughter's kids didn't want to go home at the end of 10 days. It was one of the most beautiful things that I've ever been a part of, and in case anyone out there in cyberland is a step-parent and is reading this, I just want to encourage you to remember that kids are just kids. No matter what their parents have done, no matter how they became part of the family that they are in, if you fully accept them for who they are without involving the judgement of their parents mistakes, you can be a part of a beautiful experience like this as well.

A star in the family

2006-07-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, it turns out that we have a family member with star potential. Imagine that! A star in the family! Unfortunately this family member is of the canine breed, so who knows how much money will be involved, or if the recognition will be long-lived, but our dog Chester got a casting call for a part in a new series coming up, and we're just waiting to hear if he got the part.
We got Chester in January of this year. He's already produced a lovely litter of 5, and now this. We really got lucky when we discovered him.......................I only hope that he gets the part on this show, and that the lady who got rid of him sees what a wonderful dog she gave up in order to purchase another "pet of the month". Her loss has certainly been our gain. We love you Chessy!

On my own

2006-07-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well.................................
The long weekend has arrived, and I find myself all alone in a reasonably clean house, with just the howling of the dogs to keep me company. Yes, my husband took the boys out for a "guys only" boat trip so that male bonding could occur. Seeing as though my husband owns his own company, there has never been much time spent on leisure, and the whole camping thing has never been appealing to him anyways, so summer excursions have never really been high priority. But, after the purchase of a boat last summer, and the addition of 3 business partners, time and opportunity have presented themselves more often. This along with a desire to conquer Harrison Lake - to see if one can actually reach the end (it's a big lake), has inspired my husband to actually sleep on the ground, and take his boys with him. Well, honestly speaking, I was initially supposed to come along, but upon realizing that I would probably put a damper on the "boys being boys" routine, (along with the fact that I was a bit worried I would end up being the kitchen help), I encouraged my husband that the weekend needed to be a bonding weekend for him and his boys.
So alas, I sit here in my unusually quiet house, wondering what to do with myself now that I've cleaned the house and no one has messed it up yet, the laundry is done and no one has created another load, and there are no meals to prepare, cook, or clean up after.

I could get used to this...................................

Letting go - part 2

2006-06-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I had delt with the whole independance thing in regards to my 15 year old, here comes summer vacation and full-time employment, cutting another snip in my apron strings. My husband owns his own business on our property, which means employment for my sons is pretty much a given as soon as they are physically capable. Last summer at 14 my eldest began working full-time on the property under the supervision of my husband, and I thought that this routine would continue into adulthood until he began a career of his own. Well, I never even considered that my husband would allow our son to begin work at 5 :30 am and would spend the summer working with the instalation crew under the supervision of one of my husband's partners. This is a hard-core group of men. Although they are all hard workers, and I have no fear for my son's safety, he is definately going to get an education in a part of society that I'm not sure he knew existed before now. As hard as it is for me to let this happen, I know that it has to. The sooner that he is aware of where bad choices take you (alcohol, drugs, etc. - because this is what most of these men have been into), the more likely he is to veer away from these kind of lifestyle choices in the future (I pray). I also agree with my husband that our son will probably learn alot more, and work harder for someone other than his dad, and I guess that I just have to hope that as with school work, the things that we've taught him up to this point are going to be enough to guide him in the right direction.
My son started his third day of work this morning, and I must say, his maturity amazes me. He is the first one up in the house at 5am, and has his lunch made and breakfast eaten before he leaves at 5:30. Although he's worked long hours, and is probably pushed to his limits physically, he has not complaigned. He is becoming a man before my eyes. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for this yet. It seems like yesterday that he was a tiny little colicky baby that wouldn't stop crying..............................now it's me who sheds a tear as my boy becomes a man.

Letting go

2006-06-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

Academic life with kids at the elementary school age is all about checking to make sure homework is done, helping if there are any "failure to understand" issues, and checking with the teacher when your child just isn't "getting it". This is all pretty straight forward parenting, and although it is disheartening when your child is lagging behind while others are catching on quickly in a specific area, it's not very difficult to determine what to do about the issue..............tutoring, summer school, etc.
What I am finding really difficult these days is how to deal with these same issues at a high school level. I am no longer informed of all of the homework assigned, I don't really have a clear idea as to how my children are doing in school on a day to day basis as I'm no longer at their classroom door chatting it up with the teacher, and therefore I am coming to the conclusion that I must begin to give up my power of "making sure" they're responsible academically, and trust that I've taught them enough in the early years to eventually get them to be responsible themselves. This is incredibly scary, but is seeming more and more necessary. All of those after school questions -( do you have any homework? do you have any projects that you should be working on? do you have a novel that you should be reading?) are slowly getting dropped as I'm beginning to see that in order to make my kids responsible, I need to let them suffer the consequences of being irresposible. Parenting is about eventually being able to let go, and as difficult as I'm finding this first stage of their independance, I think that I'm coming to terms with the fact that it is (unfortunately for this overprotective she bear) incredibly necessary.

To bus or not to bus.............that is the question.

2006-06-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Ever since I can remember, driving all 4 of my kids anywhere has been absolute chaos, but unfortunately it is also a necessary part of child-rearing these days. Gone are the days of walking to school, walking to the nearest ice rink for skating lessons, walking to a friends house for a playdate, etc.. Seeing as though we live on a farm, even if these things were still acceptable in a big city, they wouldn't occur in our particular circumstance anyways, but hey........................what would parenting be without looking back to your own childhood and seeing a simpler way of life, right?
Anyways....................since my two oldest boys are no longer attending the same school as my younger two, I decided last fall that in order to avoid complete and utter chaos in the mornings (ie. driving to two different schools), that I would pay for the two older boys to be bused. It has worked out very well, as far as I was led to believe, until the subject of signing them up to be put on next years bus route came up during a dinner conversation the other night. Apparently both older boys absolutely detest the bus, and both BEGGED and PLEADED with me to drive them next year, saving them the excrutiating hour long trip that it takes them to get home every day(the school itself is only a 10 minute drive away). Well, I must say that I was surprised to hear how desperately they wanted to resume their dependance on me since I thought to myself "High School?................ chatting with friends?................ walking to the corner store?, checking out the opposite sex?" I thought that these things would be something that they would appreciate at their age while hanging around waiting for the bus. Apparently not!
Hence, it looks as though I will be returning to the land of utter morning chaos next September, as once again I become responsible for getting 4 kids in the car and off to school as opposed to just the two that I've been used to this year.
I do have two or three weapons of choice that have come in handy during stressful car-rides over the years. I'm sure they will soon be re-implemented as we all ride together once again. For anyone else out there who may also benefit, they are as follows......................
#1 The Quiet Game
A good friend taught me this one, and it has become the saviour of my sanity on numerous occasions.
directions : upon reaching maximum noise levels, and after having tried every threat in the book, one merely has to yell "Quiet Game", and the noise immediately ceases. This occurs because a previously determined reward is on the line, and the child who is able to stay quiet for the longest period of time, knows that he will receive this award should he be able to hold out the longest. This game works great with brothers, cause younger children have no less advantage than older siblings, and what boy isn't instilled with a huge dose of competitiveness?
#2 Monthly Seat Rotation
I overheard this idea while getting the kids hair cut about 8 years ago.
directions: put all children on a monthly seat rotation.
A month is long enough so that you don't forget from trip to trip whose turn it actually is to sit in a particular seat, and it saves numerous arguments over seat preference. This one is a life saver!
#3 (The biggest cop-out) Invest in a vehicle with a dvd player.
When the kids were younger it was kids sing-a-long music tapes, but now that I have teenagers this just doesn't cut it anymore. Movies are fantastic. I find I spend so much time waiting in parking lots all over town, and I'll typically have at least one child along who has to wait with me. What better way to keep him happy than to pop in a movie, while I take the opportunity to enjoy the novel I'm currently engaged in. I love it!

Well, as you can see I've pretty much resigned myself to adding yet more hours to my daily driving schedule next year, and have cleary opted to give in to my childrens complaints and drive them to school next year. If anyone out there has any more life saving tips for the daily commute, let me know..........................
Until then,
Happy trails!

Why do I have boys?

2006-06-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

I've spent 15 years of my life wondering why on earth God chose to bless me with "only boys". At times, especially after the birth of my fourth son, I had regular meltdowns, and mourned the loss of the dream of ever having a daughter of my own. No dresses, no hairdo's, no shopping, no sharing puberty horror stories, no wedding day to share, no grandbaby............................okay, there will be wedding days, and grandbabies, I hope, but the mother- son thing just doesn't quite compare to the bond between a mom and her daughter when it comes to these kinds of occasions.
Now that I've come to accept the fact that I will never have a daughter, I'm beginning to discover what being a mom of sons can to do to a woman's personality, and I must say that I kind of like it. Yesterday my 15 year old brought 6 friends over to work on a school project. Most women would be intimidated by a group of boys this age, and would probably choose to banish them to the basement, or some other remote area of the household where she wouldn't have to deal with them. Not me! I'm used to a household full of testosterone, and was quite excited upon hearing that they had chosen our house as the project meeting place. So excited in fact that I baked them a cake, and then went on to make them all supper when they were still here at 6:30 and I realized that testosterone needs regular caloric intake.
What's really flattering is that the boys that come around tend to pick up on my being at ease with their presence, and tend to "chat it up" with me. It's quite a unique situation to be in, and I must say that I don't think that I'd be in this position if I had a daughter. As much as I think that I'd like another female living under this male-dominated household, I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that God knows what he's doing when he chooses the sex of our kids. I can have a unique impact on young mens lives, as I am an open door for questions they may have about the oposite sex, and am an example to them of a woman who's not all "feminine and shy" whenever boys come around. As difficult as it is at times, not to be jelous when I see a mom walking hand in hand with a blond haired, blue eyed little girl, I think that I have actually come to terms with accepting my role as mother to this fist throwing, belch emitting, flatulance exuding group of boys. I am mother, hear me roar!(I just roar louder cause I'm a mother to sons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Runaway mommy

2006-05-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

As mothers we've all had days where we've felt like running away and starting life over. While this is a regular thought process for me personally, it is certainly not something that I would EVER consider following through with.
Over the past few years I have actually heard of women who have gone through with it - they've left their families, found a boyfriend, and started life over with someone new, leaving the kids from the first relationship with their dad, along with full custody. Up until now the women I've heard about that have actually gone through with this have been friends of friends, but I have recently acquired a new hairdresser who has done exactly what I'm talking about.
Although I'm not sure of the details, approximately 3 years ago my hairdresser, mother of 4 kids - twin girls age 17, daughter age 12, and son age 8, (they were 3 years younger when it occurred) decided that she'd had enough of parenting, divorced her husband, and gave him full custody of all 4 kids claiming that she just wasn't cut out for parenting anymore. IS PARENTING A CHOICE? IS IT A JOB WE CAN QUIT? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a mother of a 7 year old, I can't even begin to wrap my head around making the decision to stop being a regular part of his life. It took me years to feel comfortable with the idea of going on a vacation without my kids let alone leaving them permanently. Until my kids were old enough to understand that I would actually be returning, I just couldn't bring myself to leave them for more than a few hours at a time. How does a mother do this?
My only conclusion as to how women can justify walking out on their families is that there has been some serious genetic malfunction in the structure of the woman involved's brain. How you can go through 9 months of pregnancy, countless sleepless nights, the terrible two's, numerous milestones, etc. , and then just decide you're done, is incredulous! My children are a part of me, and to consider the idea that my hairdressor's son at the young age of 8 has no regular female presence in his life to put on bandaids, to listen to all of the "unfair" things that happened to him at school from day to day, or just to give a hug when he's feeling down, makes me want to cry, yell, SCREAM! It is one thing to loose your mom in an accident or due to illness, but for her to "choose" not to be part of your life has got to be horendous!
I realize that there are fathers that do similar things every day. I realize that the loss of a father in this manner is life-altering as well, but I don't think it can be compared to the rejection of your mom, the woman that gave birth to you.
Like I said, my only conclusion is that these women are severely genetically mutated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boys will be boys................or will they?

2006-05-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

There is a dynamic going on in my sons grade 1 class that is out of the ordinary. It is a dynamic that I am all too familiar with, as it occurred in my grade 1 year as well. I've never really heard of it occuring in a male circle of friends before, which frustrates me, because if I'm going to have only boys, I want "only boy" problems. Arghhhhhhhhh!
Apparently there is a group of about 5 boys who typically hang out together in my sons class. This group has 2 leaders, one of which is my son. (I think youngest children tend to be leaders of their peers, because they are already very accustomed to large groups of kids, and have observed how to manipulate people into doing what they want them to do. They may not get their way at home, being that they are the youngest, but amongst their peers they have no fear of telling others what to do.) The other leader of this group has parents that work full time, and aren't very strict about foul language, types of movies/shows their kids watch, what kind of video games their kids play, nor do they seem to enforce any kind of "fair play" rules in their household. Well, it seems that my son, along with this other boy, have created a type of "gang" that takes turns liking and not liking certain other individuals of the group. I find this horrific, because this is the exact same thing that I was a victim of in grade 1, and I am mortified to think that my own son is immitating a behaviour that I abhor. I THOUGHT THIS ONLY HAPPENED TO GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been doing my best to instill values such as fair play, kindness, understanding, etc. in my son, and since I've discovered this situation at school, these values have been re-inforced on a daily basis. I only wish other parents would do the same. I've struggled with whether or not to notify the mom of the other "leader" child in this group as to what is going on, but it's such a hard call when you want to maintain a friendship with someone whose child is leading your child in the wrong direction. You don't want them to think that you're telling them how to parent. It's a tough call.
When your children are pre-school age and you encounter a situation like this, you can continue the adult friendship (like I stated in a previous post), and choose not to let the kids play together. But once the kids are in school, in the same class, there's not much you can do.
My prayer is that my son and this other boy are separated next year and that the rest of the boys involved move on to more healthy friendships.
Parenting is hard. Sometimes all we can do is give it to God!

boys need to work

2006-05-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

It is a cloudy monday (holiday) morning, and I have just managed to convince all four of my boys that it is their duty to get out in the field and help their father pick rocks. This was not an easy task, but if you know exactly what motivates each of them, it's not as difficult as it may seem.
I find that alot of parenting and discipline has to do more with what kind of willingness a parent has in making the effort to do what he/she needs to do as a parent, than whether or not it should actually be done. It is alot easier to let the kids stay inside playing on the xbox, computer, or watching tv, than it is to get them out the door to do physical labour. When you are tired, it's just plain simpler to do everything on your own than it is to make them get off of their butts and do it themselves.
Parents with two or less children seem to fall into this trap more easily than larger families, because they actually can "do everything". Those of us with larger families realize that we can't, and therefore the motivation to get the kids to help out is elevated.
Although my boys are inherantly lazy, and there have been numerous times that I too have been too lazy to get them to do what I know that they should, I am now seeing the fruits of the times I've actually done the right thing, got them off their butts, and have therefore taught them the meaning of work. Not only will they eventually be more successful in the adult "work world" because of it, but hey...............................those rocks may even get picked!

There's always one

2006-05-18T17:02:00.000-07:00

In a family that consists of more than two children, it seems as though there is always one clown in the bunch. This is the child who is constantly pestering the other children to the point where a fight becomes inevitable, who is always the one to get injured, who is always the one to attempt things that are completely outrageous, and who is quite frankly, the life of the party.
Time and time again you swear life would be simpler without this child, but when it comes right down to it, the family dynamic would be utterly boring without him/her.
Every child in my family seems to be quite rational, with the exception of this one child. We often wonder where he came from, and if we can send him back. BUT, honestly speaking, I can't imagine life without him.

This about sums it up!

2006-05-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

There are so many books on the market these days whose intent are to inform parents that boys are wild, and as parents, we need to accept this fact in order to parent effectively.
As an only girl in a family of 6, and as a mother of 4 sons, this is not news to me. Boys are "wild at heart", and if you can get past the inevitable damage, and pain that they will eventually inflict upon themselves and sometimes others, and enjoy them for who they are instead of trying to shut them down, you may just come up with a hilarious list like this one day! (this is not to say that they should be allowed to harm others or to destroy things intentionally...............just that this is par for the course when raising sons, and as they grow they need to guided in the right direction, not expected to be quiet, proper young men from the get go!)

RAISING BOYS
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas. Things I've learned from my boys (honest, and not kidding): 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.12.) Super glue is forever.13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool youstill can't walk on water.14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid with or without boys, do it because: a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Hats off to working moms

2006-05-07T20:04:00.000-07:00

This year my youngest son began grade 1, which means that this was the first time in 15 years that I've been at home without kids. At first I thought that it would be wonderful...................freedom at last!!!!!!!!!!!!! But after awhile I began to feel guilty - that I now needed to be a productive member of society, and that since all of my kids were in school, I was somehow no longer worthy of staying at home. My guilty conscience eventually drove me to start applying for jobs.
Well, considering I needed a job that would still allow me to drop off and pick up my kids from school, I became quite limited as to what kind of job I could consider. I did actually find an employer that had a shift that they called the "mommy shift", and was eventually interviewed and told that I was hired, but for some bizarre reason, they never did call me in. In retrospect this is the biggest blessing that could have occured!
Two months later December arrived, all of the housecleaning and laundry that was caught up in September after the summer holidays began to pile up, Christmas parties, shopping, and concerts started accumulating, and I began to re-evaluate how I was going to cope with my life as a "mom", if I were to add a career to the mixture. I decided that in order to keep my sanity, it just wasn't going to be able to happen. Thank goodness I realized this before it was too late. (the thought of a few relaxing weeks in a psycho ward is not such a bad thought, but I think the kids would miss me.)
I don't know how those of you who manage a career and a household do it. Coming home after a long day of work to a household of chores, homework, and extra-curicular activities, has got to be overwhelming. Hats off to ya!

Saying good-bye

2006-05-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight I said good-bye to the last of my beagle puppies. After 8 weeks of being mom to these little rascals, I must say that I'm going to miss them. It's hard to let go.
My oldest son turned 15 yesterday.............................my thoughts drift to the day when I'm going to have to let him go. He's such an integral part of our family structure. I don't know how I'm going to cope with him no longer being a constant presence in this household. It is reassuring to know that he is becoming an independant, hard-working, responsible young man, and to know that he's not involved in anything self-destructive, at this point at least, but still, the inevitable departure of one of my babies is sad.
Apparently a few weeks after a mother dog loses a pup, she know longer recognizes it. I don't know that I would wish for this, but knowing that my motherly instinct will never end so long as I'm alive makes me fear for the future when my chicks have all left the nest.
As mothers,it seems as though we just start getting good at our job when suddenly we find we've lost it.

Beagle misconceptions

2006-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

I heard a lady on the playground at school the other day say "anything but a beagle" when discussing with another mom what breed of dog to consider when selecting a new pup. I must say that I was apalled, and am continually surprised by people's misunderstanding of the breed. I have heard that beagles eat too much, howl too much, follow their noses to the point of getting lost on a regular basis, that they are stupid, and that they are difficult to train. I don't know if my beagles are exceptions to the rule, but I have found none of the above to be true.
Eat too much? - my female is so picky that she will only eat one brand of doggy treats, and when I fill her bowl with food, it usually sits there until the end of the day.
Howl too much? - sure, when a stranger comes to the door or when another dog walks past the house of course they howl, but compared to most of the smaller breeds of dogs, I'll take a little howling as opposed to alot of yapping any day.
Follow their noses to the point of running away? - I've taken my dogs hiking up the mountains numerous times, and my female is so aware of my presence that she never lets me out of her sight......................she runs ahead, and then looks back and waits until I catch up.
Stupid? Okay, here is where I really get my back up. I have had a cocker spaniel, a doberman, a terrier cross, a black lab, a shepherd/ lab, and a rotweiler. Although it may have taken my beagle a little bit longer to catch on to the whole potty training routine, once she got it, she got it. She can be left in the house an entire day, and I've NEVER had to worry about an accident, and overall I must say that she has been the smartest dog I've owned.
Behaviour is all about training. You discipline your children, you generally end up with well-behaved kids. You discipline your dog, you generally end up with a well behaved dog. Blaming the breed is no different than blaming the child. As pet-owners, we are the ones responsible for the eventual behaviour of our dogs.

When to get a puppy?

2006-04-29T18:35:00.000-07:00

I have always been a dog person, and during periods when it has been impossible for me to have a dog, I've felt like something (or someone) was missing.
My husband and I started out our marriage with a dog. Actually, we bought our doberman "Apollo" before we got married, because at this point in my life I had gone through quite a few years without a dog (the whole university campus, rental apartment phase), and knowing that we would have a yard in the not too distant future, caused me to get so excited that I just couldn't wait. Although mother-in-law wasn't extremely impressed with having a young doberman arrive unanounced, she's pretty layed back, and actually coped quite well with the temporary new addition. All worked out well in the end.
Anyways.......................because the dog was trained before the first son came, the adjustment was pretty smooth, and I never really thought about the whole "kids and dogs" scenario until we moved west, left the doberman behind, and didn't have a place of our own again for another 4 months. Well, of course the first thing that I wanted was a puppy. Not a great choice. Diapers and doggy doo just don't mix. At the end of the day it seems that all I'd done was be the cleaner of the crap............lovely.
It is my opinion that the perfect time for a puppy is when the last baby is out of diapers, so that you are in the right headspace to train a puppy, and your focus can be on it instead of baby. Two babies in the house just doesn't work - puppy won't get trained properly, and you'll end up frustrated and mad at him, and will grow to resent the time he's taking up.
All of this said, I do believe that it is invaluable to have a pet in the house, if at all possible, during the child-raising years. Children that are never exposed to their own pets don't learn how to respect and understand animal behaviour. Animals are also a good way of teaching kids responsibility, but the kind of responsibility that comes with a big payback - a best friend that is always there to listen, and will love them no matter what.
Like kids, pets involve alot of time and energy, but what you get in return is priceless!

Sex Talk

2006-04-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

Who is responsible for teaching your kids about sex? If your husband is not the type who is comfortable talking about it, is it okay to share the facts of life with your boys, or is it only appropriate for a man to speak to a boy, and a woman to speak to a girl about this often embarassing topic? Can it be left up to the school system to teach the "mechanics" of sex, as there are alot of very educated people out there whose education is centered on how to teach this subject, that we as parents sometimes feel uncomfortable and very un-educated about?
These are all questions that have run through my mind as a parent of 4 boys whose dad (my husband) is very uncomfortable with the topic (other than performing it, of course).
When my oldest son was in grade 4, I realized that it had to be done. I can't remember what brought it on. Perhaps the fact that he has two half-sisters, and I needed to explain who exactly they were in relation to him, and how they came into existance. I knew that my husband wasn't going to make my son comfortable with the conversation if forced to have it, so I decided, since my son and I had, and still have, a very easy time chatting with each other, that the I would take on the responsibility.
The first thing that I did was to find a book that I thought was at his level, and that made it more of a scientific "act" than an erotic one. The book that I chose was "What's the Big Secret?" by Laurie and Marc Brown. I of course instilled in my son my own beliefs about love, marriage and then sex, and found that this book allowed me to do that without contradicting any core beliefs that I had, unlike many "sex talks" that are given at schools these days. After having gone through the book together, I then asked if my son had any questions, and to my surprise he did and felt comfortable enough at this point to ask me things that he'd already heard on the playground and wasn't quite sure what they meant. The "talk" actually went much better than anticipated and opened a door that has since stayed open.
It is my belief that we as parents need to be the ones who share the sex facts with our own kids, because we are the only ones that have their best interests at heart. We know how we want them to treat the opposite sex and what kind of choices we want them to make when chosing girlfriends/boyfriends, and therefore we can't leave it up to the schools or the playground to teach this important topic. We need to keep communication open throughout the teen years, and if we're uncomfortable initiating the initial "facts of life" conversation, they are going to sense this, and will hesitate to consult us in the future.
In a day where teens think oral sex isn't really sex, std's are rampant, and pre-marital sex is taken for granted, I believe that it is my responsibility to set things straight in the mind of my children, and not assume that they will get through their young lives unscathed.

Chore charts and bratty kids

2006-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked by a very close friend of mine how to get the kids to do more work around the house.........................not an easy task. Unfortunately when you're a busy mom such as myself, the problem is not actually motivating the kids to do something, but to sit yourself down and make up a chore chart.
To expect kids to do chores without such a chart, in my experience, is unrealistic. Not only that, but the kids in my house actually like chore charts. I go through phases of procrastination when one chart has kind of phased out, and I know that it's time to make a new one, but find it bothersome to actually sit down and plan it out. (I had one stored on a computer somewhere, but the kids caused the computer to crash and it mysteriously disappeared). Finally when I get off of my butt and get it done, life gets simpler (table is set, cleared, and dishes put away without my help), and I wonder why I didn't do it sooner.
Incentive is important. We all work for money, and kids want a payoff as well. In my house it's $5 a week, but it can be something as simple as a trip to 7-11 at the end of the week when the kids are younger. Once you have kids aged 10 and up the rewards have to increase unfortunately.
I've heard alot of people say that they don't believe in rewarding kids for household chores.............that it's a family responsibility that shouldn't require a payoff. I agree, but haven't really found this to be a good enough motivator. I find alot of parenting to be about incentive..................................that's what the work world is all about, right?

Another issue brought to my attention this week is how to deal with a friend that has really bratty kids. I've had this occur on numerous occasions, and it's very frustrating. At one point I made the assumption that I couldn't possibly have anything in common with a mom that didn't seem to know how to discipline her kids. Well............................was I wrong! One of my best friends, when her kids were younger, seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that her kids were continually bouncing off the wall during our visits.
In my opinion, you must first decide how important your friendship with the mom is. If it is important to you, you need to start arranging to meet without kids - coffee in the evening or on the weekend. We all have priorities when it comes to parenting. I now believe that just because you don't respect someones parenting skills, doesn't mean you can't respect them in all other aspects of their lives, and end up having a great relationship with them.

Predjudism comes naturally

2006-04-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

As a mother of 4 boys, I have discovered something most of you with a mix of the sexes may never come to realize................................mothers tend to discriminate against their own sons. This really gets on my nerves.
I've overheard mothers on the playground saying things such as "I think that I'll hold Luke back a year in school as his birthday isn't until late in the year, and you know how much slower boys are to mature................................" or " Katie and Julie are really doing well in their reading, but it's taking Tom a little longer to catch on.....................he IS a boy you know".
I do realize that there is a major difference in the way boys and girls learn, and in some areas boys are a little slower to mature, but lets not let the boys think that they are second rate, because as their moms, if this is the message they're getting at home, how are they ever going to grow into mature, self-confident men?
There is an overwhelming amount of media these days that plays on the "stupidity" of men. As women have been represented more and more in the workplace, it seems that instead of relishing in our ever-increasing power, we have stooped to demeaning men.
I want my boys to have backbones...............to know how to respect and treat a woman, to have the courage to stand up for her if she's threatened, to have enough confidence in themselves to speak up when confronted by injustice. By demeaning my sons into thinking that they are somehow less intelligent than the female gender (at any point in their young lives), I am producing a pretty lame husband for my future daughters-in-law.
I realize that siding with your own sex probably comes pretty naturally, and is something that you must continually make a conscious effort to go against, but future generations will be stronger with men who feel valued, especially by the women that they love the most - their moms.

why don't you do something?!?!?!?!

2006-04-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Trying to figure out what activities to involve your kids in when they get to the appropriate age is extremely frustrating in my experience. I spent nights worrying about whether to enroll in soccer or baseball, piano or voice, drama or art..........................the list goes on. Now in retrospect, I wish I would have spent more time just enjoying them at home and less time worrying about where to send them away.
Music skills have always been important to me, and therefore piano was a given. Sports....................well, I was never a jock, and my husbands schedule never allowed for him to drive kids all over town after school and evenings, so after a few attempts at soccer, gymnastics and drama, I decided the driving was too stressful, and began karate, where I could drop the kids off and pick them up an hour later. This worked for a few years, but when more of them joined (we started when our oldest was about 8 and youngest wasn't even born), the kids needed to be there at different times, and our dinner schedule became completely chaotic. I know most of you are probably saying"dinner schedule? what's that?", but having dinner together has always been a priority for me, and although when my oldest son turns 16 and becomes mobile this will probably no longer occur on a regular basis, right now I am doing everything in my power to make it happen. Therefore, karate went, and life became simple. Okay...................simple is deffinately an eggageration in a house with 4 boys, 2 dogs and 5 puppies, but simpler nevertheless.
It seems to me that society has placed too much emphasis on exra-curricular activities, and not enough emphasis on family time. If you have not yet given in to this overwhelming amount of pressure to involve your kids in extra-curricular activities, please consider what you may be giving up by doing so. Exercise is important, sporting skills are valuable, but more valuable than family time? I don't think so!

2006-04-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

Why have kids?

2006-04-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
I guess I never really made a decision to have kids..................I just always knew that I would. Some people ponder the issue and decide that it's just too much work, or that it will put a damper on their lifestyle, but having kids is so much more than "having a kid". It is an experience that changes your being to the core, and if you take your job as a parent seriously, you will become someone that those who know you today, would barely recognize.
Children take you from thinking about "me", to thinking about "them". Your sole focus is now not to make money so "you" can get ahead, but to make money to give "them" a better life. You don't follow the speed limit to keep from getting a ticket, you follow the speed limit to keep them safe.
A human being who puts others before him/herself is a much better human being, in my opinion, and therefore, having a child transforms you into someone better...................... stronger, more sensitive, more responsible, more aware, more concerned, - I could go on and on. No, parenting doesn't come without it's share of frustrations, disappointments and heartache, but I wouldn't trade it for a 10million dollar winning lottery ticket................life wouldn't be worth living without my kids!

Breeding dogs

2006-04-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

When trying to breed dogs, don't believe everything that you read.
Two summers ago, I decided to breed my female beagle "Tango". I advertised in the paper for a male stud, decided on the one I wanted as my baby's "daddy", and thought that was it.....................we put them together at the right time, and soon we would have pups. Well, it didn't quite work out that way. After numerous weekends spent at "Champs" house, still there didn't seem to be a connection made, even though Tango was in, according to the books, her prime fertile stage. Eventually I ended up leaving her at Champ's house towards the 15-18th day of her cycle (as opposed to the 12-14th day that the book suggested), and she finally did become pregnant.
Well this was a success story. Last summer I planned for the same thing to happen,
left Tango at Chesters for a full week, and there was no action at all. I became very frustrated, because still, I was assuming what the books suggested to be correct. I left her there between the 12-18th day of her cycle, when prime fertility was supposed to be occurring.
After this experience I decided on purchasing my own male dog. Not only did I want to discover what was going wrong, but decided that if I found the "right" kind of daddy for my pups it would save the frustration of trying to schedule my dogs cycle with someone else's schedule, and in the long run I'd probably be financially ahead anyways.
Then came Chester. Lovely dog, lovely temperment, and very willing participant in the fathering of puppies. I eventually discovered that Tango was fertile between the 20th and 27th day of her cycle - much later than suggested by the "experts". Go figure!

pull-ups

2006-04-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

Who created pull-ups? - Companies that obviously understood the laziness of todays society. How can a child, at the age of approximately 2, understand the difference between a pull-up and a diaper? Potty training is about discovering how uncomfortable it is to sit in your urine and excrement, and decide to do something about it. If we decide to use a method that takes away from the discomfort of the process, we are then prolonging the process. Who wants that?
When deciding to potty train, time is required. It is my experience that it can generally be accomplished in a weekend, if this is the sole focus of the weekend. NO pull-ups are required, except in the case of a child who has problems during the night.
If at all possible try to start training during the summer, and do away with underware altogether. Children love to hide when they are old enough to be aware that eliminating is rather messy. I began the process by placing the potty in the playroom, sometimes infront of the t.v. if a bowel movement was inevitable and I knew that it would take some time, and then commenced to place the child on the pot every 1/2 hour throughout the day. Before even starting this process, my kids were fully aware of what the words "pee" and "poo" meant as I used them every time I changed a diaper, and therefore caught on quikly as to what to do where.
Once the majority of eliminating gets done in the right place, the potty can be moved to the bathroom and the time increments can be increased.
Never assume in the beginning that the child is going to tell you when he/she has to "go". If the habit is learned first, eventually he/will tell you, but it must start with your diligence and regular placement on the pot.

2006-04-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

It's all about control

2006-04-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

When disciplining a young child or a new puppy, it is essential to keep the upper hand. When my oldest son (yes the colicky one) began to display "attitude" syptoms, I knew that it was time to do something to regain control, but it took me awhile to figure out how to accomplish this. I attempted the "go to your room" method, but my little guy just kept coming out. Next, I decided that if I spanked him after his escape attempts he would surely stay in his room, but this failed as well. My anger eccelerated to the point where he was deffinitely the one in control of the entire situation.
What I eventually discovered was the "hook and eye" lock. By attaching it to on the outside of the door, escape was no longer an option,. I know that "Super Nanny" teaches a method where you spend hours placing and re-placing the child onto the "naughty spot", but in today's fast-paced world, I find my method just as effective, but alot less time consuming. There may be those who see this as a form of abuse, but believe me, compared to the tension that was mounting while placing, and replacing my son back into his room, I truly believe the tendency for subsequent abuse is much less likely with this method. I followed the same principal for appropriate "time spent in room" as most methods recommend - 1 min. per age of child, and after a very short period of time the lock was no longer needed and I had taken back control.

As far as puppies go, one of the methods I used to train my now 3 year old (mom of 5) dog was another matter of gaining control. I discovered this method in "Puppies for Dummies". What it suggests is putting the puppy on a leash while housetraining. eg.) If you spend most of your time in the kitchen, tie the leash to the leg of your table (or something sturdy), place a blanket, water, food, and papers to pee on, all within the puppy's reach, and you never have to worry about the pup wandering off and making messes all over your house. You are also able to observe him closely, so that when you see he needs to eliminate, you can either grab him and put him on the paper (my preliminary method of choice), or put him directly outside.
Initially I found it hard to believe that a pup would be happy with such limited space, but was surprised to find out that this wasn't an issue at all!

first experience

2006-04-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

When giving birth to your first child, never let anyone else influence the way you do things.....................
At the time I gave birth to my first son I had one girlfriend who had had a child just before me, and she had a very idealistic, wholesome way of making parenting decisions. I thought it all sounded wonderful, until I found myself with a colicky baby.
She decided "not to use a pacifier" because this was an artificial means of keeping her baby happy. She decided "not to give her baby suplemental bottles" because this too was an artificial means of feeding her child.
I decided I would copy her "style" because it sounded so romantic, but it ended up being a disaster. My baby screamed non-stop, and because I hadn't introduced the pacifier or bottle from birth, he completely rejected them, which left me nursing all day and all night long.
The best thing about colic is that it ends..................eventually. It also teaches patience, which comes in very handy throughout the parenting years!

life on the farm

2006-04-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

After 14 years of raising boys( 4 of them to be exact), and being asked by numerous acquaintances answers to many mind-boggling questions on how to resolve parenting/discipline issues, I have decided to create a blog logging various day to day dilemmas we mothers of boys typically face.
This blog will not only document my experiences but will also include situations presented to me by friends and families, otherwise I'm sure those parusing this blog would get too inundated with "me and mine".
This blog will also detail the raising of my beagle puppies who are now 4 weeks old, and will of course include pictures of "my babies", until they go off to their "forever homes". Tango (mom beagle) and "Chester"(dad beagle), will of course be mentioned regularily as they are irreplaceable members of our family.
I hope to attract moms like myself, who when starting out this whole parenting adventure, didn't really know what to do or what to expect. I had my first son in rural Ontario with no mother or friend to ask for advice, and certainly could have used it on a daily basis had it been readily available.
I also hope to attract the odd owner of a loving family pet who is interested in breeding and could use a few tips on how to get started.
Here we go...............................let the posts begin